I didn’t believe divorce was ever an option. Until it was my only option.
Born and raised in the midwest and the church, I was living the dream – go to a Christian college, find a Christian husband and settle down. Well, my life-long goal to become a stay at home mom came to a screeching halt when I was pretty much paralyzed from anxiety, panic attacks, and depression shortly after I had my son in 2018.
Day by day I found new ways to cope and climb my way out of the postpartum depression, but it was only when the fog lifted that I realized that a toxic marriage may have contributed (a lot) to my breakdown.
In the faith community, I was met with a lot of sympathy and pity, but not a lot of understanding. “Pray for your husband more.” “Lead they way by loving more and he’ll reciprocate.” “It’s just hard, this is the sacrifice we’re called to as wives.”
I tried everything. Books. Counseling. Marriage retreat. Online articles. More books. Church involvement. Prayer. Submission. More books. Things were not getting better, and I was an unrecognizable shell of who I used to be.